“Its a small world after all”

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My husband had to get his hair cut today and he had some errands to run so he asked if I would go with him because he wanted us to go out to dinner later. Then he wouldn’t have to come all the way home to pick me up. So, I went. The stylist who does his hair is a very close friend of ours. I have not seen her in a while. I asked how her husband was and I think I asked the wrong question. I won’t go into any detail about what she has been going through for privacy sake. However, just listening to her talk about the great difficulties she’s having with her very ill and aging husband made me think a lot about how I react to my own difficult issues sometimes. I know that it’s not all about me but sometimes we can get so caught up in our own lives and forget the fact that our family and friends might need some attending to also. She just about had me in tears. I need to become more aware of those around me who suffer too. They might suffer in different ways than I do but no one is keeping score because suffering is suffering plain and simple. We all go through difficult things throughout our lives, but we should never be so self-absorbed that we are not there for those in need. We can take a break from our own difficult issues and listen to a dear one who is struggling.
My heart went out to her. She has so much to do and her husband will not accept any outside help. I think it’s his pride. No one wants to admit or give in to getting older and needing help, but he really fights it. He is a man that is very dear to me. When I heard how he was doing, it went straight to might heart like a bolt of lightning. He has always been like a father figure to me. I always looked to him for guidance much like a child does with a parent. His wife is quite a bit younger than he is. In fact, I would say twenty years younger. She and I are close in age.
I could just imagine how difficult it must be for her to see the love of her life slowly get worse and worse. Old age is not kind and it’s very humbling. I hope soon that he will let someone else in the house to help her out.
Listening and helping others gets us out of our own heads for a while. In knowing that we suffer in very much the same ways, gives new meaning to the song,
“It’s a small world after all.”
Linda

A WORD ON SENSITIVITY

 

HSP (Highly Sensitive People)

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If a HSP is hurt, it could take days for them to recover. A hsp can know what you are feeling even before you do. Their nerve cells are actually hyper-reactive. They can take in other emotions as their own.
Ok, I’m talking about me. But there are many others out there that experience the very same things.
When I was little my mom had to walk to the grocery store. It was quite a walk. She had all of us in a row behind her like little chicks. She called me pokey. Because I could not pass by things that I saw that amazed me without taking time to examine them. I picked some flowers along the way and gave them to my mom thinking she would love them. She said, “Linda they are just weeds please don’t pick anymore. I became sad because to me those little tiny yellow flowers where beautiful and I was in awe of them. I felt a rush of happiness just to hold one of these flowers in my hand. My mom disregarded my feelings. It made me sad. To her they were weeds, but to me, they were special enough to give her some. I thought that they might make her smile like they did for me. I just could not understand how she could not see the beauty in them. I did not realize back then that I had this high sensitivity. I didn’t know just what it was that seemed to be different for me than it was for my siblings. But today I know without a doubt that I am highly sensitive.
I now know that back then when I felt so strongly over those tiny yellow flowers that it is actually a gift. I could see life more intricately than others could. I always wanted them to see the same way and feel the same way, but they didn’t. It was frustrating to me.
I now think that this high sensitivity enables me to be creative. I am very observant. I actually can feel the emotions in weather. I can feel the emotions of the sea. I can feel a deeper joy in getting together with my family. I don’t take anything for granted. I appreciate the subtler joys of life. My senses seem to be heightened. I wish sometimes people can know me on a deeper level so that they understand how even the slightest thing can be painful or the slightest thing can be extremely exciting. People like me are attuned to the subtleties of all sorts of things. We have a rich inner life and need to take time to process the constant flow of sensory data coming at us.
I read an article once on HSPs and learned that technology is now providing a window into that which likely defines us all. We have a nervous system set to register whatever stimuli we receive at a very low-frequency and its amplified internally. HSPs emotional experience is at such a constant intensity that it shapes our personality and our lives. If controlled, are extreme sensitivity can enable us to transform all this raw perception into a very keen perceptiveness. Once realized it can be used as a tool or rather gift to make our way through the world and thrive. You must have heard of people like us. We could have a hundred people commend us for something we did but it only takes one person to make a negative comment to destroy all the commendation like it was never said. But that negative comment will stay with us forever.
We make up 20 percent of the population and the evidence implies that we are born that way and not made. The over emotionalism is the most visible feature and it’s not always pretty but understand that we are very honest and generous with our emotions and our thoughts about life. Sadly, in my case, because of the constant childhood trauma, I learned to hold all that intensity within my body. I’m not even going to tell you how much that hurts. I am learning through therapy to express and release the emotions that tend to build up fairly quickly. Some caring people in my life really try to help but they don’t know what to do or say without hurting me. “It’s like walking on eggshells sometimes”, so my family has said. I really wish that sometimes I can put what seems like all-powerful emotions and put them into words. I wish that they could see what is really going on inside of me. It’s frustrating for them and it’s frustrating for me.
It’s that “thin skin statement”, that people usually put out to you. I have been told by people who might be trying to help, “Grow a thicker skin”. But if I did that then I would not authentically be me and I would be denying my gifts.
We need to focus more on what we have to offer. We make compassionate friends who truly care about others. We bring beauty from the world into art and music and we notice things others miss.
If you could see into the world of an HSP you would be in awe of all those vibrant colors, sharp smells, striking sounds, and powerful surges of our emotions. I can tell that it is beautiful.

Hug an HSP today believe me we love it.

Linda