Whirl Wind

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I am caught in a whirlwind.
I’m trying to sort it out.
Please help me find my way into life.
I think that I am locked out.
Strange things are happening.
Twirling and twisting and horrid things.
Please let me in,
to those places, you are going.
I am frightened and I think I lost my way.
I can see you.
Can you see me?
Why is it so hard,
to be a part of life.
This is my right.
Tell me what to do.
For my life is lived in pain.
I see that it is bright and sunny where you live,
but I only see the rain.
If you look around the corner,
that just might be me.
Perhaps just a shadow,
or of substance, I’m not sure.
I am clearly broken.
Straight to the core.
This place you call life,
is there a door?
Linda

Adrift

sea

I am on a beat-up boat going nowhere. The sky is bright with the first light of day. But above me, it is frighteningly dark and gray. I have no anchor to pull from below. There is nothing in my way so that I can’t move. I have no paddles, only my own strength and will. The water is peaceful and calm in the distance where it seems life exists. Around my boat the water ripples in circles. Sometimes calm and sometimes with such an eerie almost violent sound. No part of me is able to drift to other places more pleasant. I feel cold like the night and empty without nourishment. The water is not safe to drink and I was not prepared. In fact, I don’t even know how I got here. I must have been a part of the joyful light off in the distance but I drifted to this dreary place. Fear is all around me and I feel no hope of survival. Just below a board on the boat, there was a sort of wrap. No not a knock but a small wrapped something. So, I opened it hoping that it was food, perhaps a sandwich but as I began opening it I could smell a most unpleasant, almost revolting odor. Inside the wrapping was a moldy sandwich. Something impossible for me to eat. I angrily threw it in the water. I could not stand that smell for one more second.
I am so lonely so far out here at sea. I can no longer see land but only the brilliant light that shines over that way to where life exists. I fall asleep a lot because of no nourishment and the sheer hopelessness of my situation. I try to hum a tune to incite some measure of joy. The notes were once jumping around in excitement, as much as I can muster and then an unbelievable cold came over me and the notes that I hummed turned quiet and low. But I kept up with that low little tune to calm my fears until I fell asleep.
I had a dream that night that I lived in a castle built high up on a hill. I felt safe there and all my wishes were possible. In my dream, I did not starve for food and I was not in fear every second. I could go where and whenever I pleased and I was surrounded by the nicest people. They were like family.
There was a gentleman there who said to me, ” come and sit awhile.” I looked into his calm and gentle eyes. He appeared to me to be a man of great wisdom but he used the simplest words to make his point. He told me that a person can be in the darkest place and still know that the sun rises and the sun sets every day and it never stops. He said, “what at the times feels hopeless can turn around on its own or a person can try with all their might and will to make a change. Even when things seem insurmountable, as long as we are alive,  we have a chance to change that very situation that we find ourselves in.” The most curious thing that he had told me was, ” to look to the sky and pray and you will notice a strong swift breeze to pull you to shore and back into your life. Remember to always look above and pray to the one who has the power to free you. He will because he loves you.” This gentleman’s last words to me were very comforting. He said, “Even on the darkest day there is always a light.”

Linda